I refuse…

I refuse to believe the thoughts you think about me.

I refuse to listen to your inner voice when mine is so much more viable.

I refuse to hide in the shadows of this broken heart I carry around…

… barely beating.

… barely breathing.

… barely surviving.

I refuse to stop following my gut.

I refuse to continue to apologize for a wrong I’ve righted over and over and over.

I refuse to walk away silently…

… whispering.

… whimpering.

… wishing.

I refuse to hear the whispers surrounding my thoughts.

I refuse to give up the fight because no better cause exists.

I refuse to be anything other than truthful and honest and hopeful…

… especially through the pain.

… especially through the thickness of those walls.

… especially through the confusion of why.

I refuse to let myself down.

I refuse to give up on me.

I refuse to accept I’m unworthy…

… even with the proof.

… even with the consequence.

… even with the pounding of the words on my mind.

I refuse to let go of my life.

I refuse to creep around in this rabbit hole.

I refuse to not get pissed off and scream at the top of my lungs at your closed off heart…

… but it would be so easy.

… but it would be so painless.

… but it would slip away like a kite string in a strong wind.

I refuse to stop waving my hands in front of your blindness.

I refuse to not care.

I refuse to give up on hope…

… because that would be giving up on me.

… because that would be proving you right.

… because I’m better than that.

I refuse to live my life quietly.

I refuse to be closed off to love.

I refuse to stay in the pits of an ebb when I should be soaring with the flow.

I refuse.

.

.

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A little bit of pissy angst for Jingle’s Poetry Potluck and Thursday’s Poet Rally. Check out all the great things happening there.

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Tell me you love me…

… god I wish I could write a poem.

I wish I could put some words together that whirl around on this page and let the world know what I’m thinking but I want you to have to think about it…

I want you to have to piece it together, I want you to put your life into the words and see it from your perspective and then I want you to tell me.

TELL ME, what I’m thinking.

TELL ME, what I’m trying to say.

TELL ME, you understand.

… god I wish I could write a poem.

I want to spit out words on these pages that make you cry or make you laugh or make you think or make you feel uncomfortable or make you feel — I want to make you feel.

I want you to tell me you get it, I want you to tell me you get me, I want you to tell me I’m okay and I’m fine and I’m loved and I’m learning — please tell me I’m learning.

TELL ME, it’s never too late.

TELL ME, we all deserve another chance.

TELL ME, my time is coming.

… god I wish I could write a poem.

I wish I could dream of the words that will bring you to your knees and leave you breathless and make you wish you lived next door so I would come over on a Saturday night to share a glass of wine, red, and you’d ask me to tell you a poem and I would because you make it so easy and you laugh at all the right spots and when I’m done you sit there with a tear in your eye because something that came out of me, something that came out of MY mind affected you and made you feel.

TELL ME, I made you feel.

Please.

I offer this little ditty as part of One Shot Wednesday, visit outstanding poets here. Also as part of Jingle Poetry Potluck, click here to read some amazing poems. As well as Thursday’s Poet Rally, click here to be dazzled!

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