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Posts Tagged ‘patience’

I’ve been glued to all my sources of information lately… TV, newspapers, magazines, Facebook, twitter. I’ve been reading and listening and looking and watching — from the outside, because I don’t like to just jump right into heated conversations — especially ones that I don’t know all the specifics to. But, some of you do.

I watched Rachel Maddow last night.

I watched her after a few days of being inundated with screaming insulting arguments from people who think they are right. She, as usual, was a wonderful refreshing breath of fresh air.

I read an insult on twitter by someone I think is actually a nice person, unfortunately, this person used a term that rattled my senses and left me sad and mad and worried that we, as a people, really don’t have much patience or understanding for each other. The term was “libtard”.

The term didn’t bother me because I’m a liberal-minded woman, it bothered me on an entirely different level. I don’t like the term “retard”, it’s insulting… horrific. It’s used on people who have an inability to be clearly heard in our world and it’s used by people who think the only way they can be heard is to speak louder and use more insulting phrases than the person standing next to them. I spend a large majority of my professional life making sure that the people who have been insulted by such terms as “retard” have a voice. And then… like most horrific catch phrases, a term like “libtard” is born.

Terms like “libtard” are used in an attempt to shame someone out of expressing their views, to quiet them, to push them back so they can not be heard. I’m sure we aren’t going to, as a society, change the way we talk to one another or discuss gun control or rationalize a political figure who uses gun sights and loud words to confuse people. But… I’d say we should all be sad today — I’d say we should all start by using intelligent words in intelligent conversations. Calling me a “libtard” doesn’t quiet me… it just quiets me to you.

So, I guess I’m a “libtard”… but I’m the same “libtard” who made you cry when you read that poem and made you think when you read that post. And I’m the same person who will be here to do it all over again — and I think, you’ll be back here too.

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I have no patience.

I thought about just writing that line and pushing publish to prove I have no patience, but I was afraid no one would read it so I decided to add a little something.

Maybe I should just say I’m limited on my patience — I hate to imply that I’m completely irrational with my lack of patience, so…I’m limited. Sometimes, when I send an email and I don’t get a response for a while, or I phone someone and have to leave a message and the return call isn’t quick, or when I send a text message that isn’t returned right away I think,

“Oh no, why didn’t they respond? They must hate me now. Whatever, I’m better off.”

Do you see how this could become a problem area for me? I have no limited patience. So, I’m trying to slow things down a bit. Trying to let things occur naturally and not wonder if I’ve done something wrong to illicit a slow response.

I read a fabulous blog post by Martha Beck the other day while I was contemplating my lack of patience and the post really screamed at me, really. In it she lists some things that could possibly occur if you fail to slow down:

➢ You stop getting anything done.
➢ You feel cranky and childish.
➢ You lose things, drop things, or forget things to a ridiculous degree.
➢ People tell you that you should back off, or seem very nervous around you.
➢ You’re exhausted (but often can’t sleep).
➢ Your thoughts race.
➢ You feel panicky.
➢ Though you live to serve humanity, you hate everyone

Then shortly after I read that post, I was driving down the road and got stuck behind an unusual thing — an older man (with a cane mind you) driving his lawn mower down the road (a busy road mind you) apparently headed for the repair shop (that was quite a distance away mind you). But, behind him with her hazard lights on in the most enormous Lincoln Town Car was his older woman counterpart — following him, right behind. This made me smile and then I laughed… out loud. Patience.

I was at the store the other day and found myself in the card aisle. I usually always skip the card aisle unless it’s absolutely necessary to venture down it. So there I was, perusing the cards, trying to find something quirky and funny and not too serious. Of course, I didn’t really know who I would send it to — I thought that would come later.

I’ve always wanted to be a “sends cards” person. I love getting cards and letters in the mail (makes all the bills seem not so burdensome). When I was young, I remember my grandmother sitting down almost daily and writing letters to friends — she received letters in the mail as well. I remember how excited she would get when the mail came, she also got excited about putting her letters in the mail. She knew she was giving someone on the other end the same feeling she had, and that was a good feeling.

I’m an email person. I don’t really appreciate talking on the phone too much (I’m sure my sister can attest to that). I turn very primal on the phone — lots of “huh, oh, yea”. Mainly one word utterances. But, put me in front of my computer during a lunch break and I’ll send several emails (usually way too long). Then, I wait. Then my lack of patience creeps up.

So, a challenge. A game really. I thought I would start (don’t choke) writing letters to friends and sending cards and maybe it would be reciprocated. Maybe forcing myself to take a step back and really appreciate the importance and intimacy of conversation and friendship would help my patience. Of course, I’ll still email and text and (reluctantly) call — but my hope is that the anticipation of sending a note or a card through the mail, of knowing that the receiver on the other end will be more pleased with that piece of me than a mere email, will curb my lack of patience — and it will make someone feel good… I like the thought of that.

So, here’s where you get to play along. If you want to get on “Becky’s list of people she wants to send a piece of herself to” (please refrain from all jokes regarding this statement), email your address to bsainfirstpages@gmail.com and wait… patiently.

And now, enjoy this song while you wait!

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