I don’t need 79 words to tell you what I think of you.
79 words is far too many.
79 words would use too much breath.
Breath I’m keeping for myself.
Breath I’m giving to someone else.
Breath I will simply let escape my lungs because I am alive.
And you — chained to the bottom of the ocean,
grasping at distant memories,
wishing I had 79 words to spare,
a life raft to throw to you,
… but, I don’t.
79 words
August 16, 2012 by Becky
Posted in Badass Courage, Endings, Poems I thought I would share on the main page | Tagged Becky Sain, poems, poetry | 18 Comments
18 Responses
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Becky Brewster
I'm a mother of three,
I write, I learn, I teach, I begin again, I am awake and unafraid... I am becoming.Top Posts
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Oh, the places I go…
Love it!
xoxo!
So, why’d you use 80? This was fantastic. It was alive and vibrant and defiant! Loved loved loved it!
I miscounted! See, I like it all the more now! I word counted it in Word and got 80 words, and then I hand counted it and got 79! [giggling at self] Mwah!
Ha! Okay… good. Math has never been my strong point. ๐
Thank you Mosk.
What?!?
I like the intensity of this poem, Becky. It sounds to me as if even 50 words would be too many!!
Thank you!
I had more words, then I thought I wanted the point to be a lack of words.
haha 80….smiles…and still not one to throw to tham…that says much…like mary i like hte intensity of it as well…nice…
Thank you Brian.
I wanted it to have an intense but subtle kind of feel.
You go, girl! The clarity in the anger here is very nice. Universal but with your own spin and force. k.
Thank you!
I definitely think anger, like kindness, is universal.
damn, girl! please don’t get angry with me, okay, b?
Love ya!
โฅ
Ha!
Okay.
I think since we have this emotion we are supposed to use it once in a while. ๐
I like the defiant tone of this poem and the staccato rhythm of it.
Thank you. I like defiance once in a while. ๐
I really like this. I love angry poetry that is well written.
Why thank you very much!