I sit and look out,
hearing the ocean rolling in front of me…
… and I’m gone.
Counting on my daydreams to carry me away,
and they do, quickly…
I can taste the salt on my lips,
the uncomfortableness of the sand scratching my skin,
the breeze — the breeze is welcoming across my burning skin.
The sun is high in the sky but my daydreams don’t care,
they grab hold of my thoughts… filling my head with a world of forgotten promises.
Our truths are so varied but we end up at the same place,
a ship bringing us close to shore,
If I could fly… I’d spring out of this dream and jump in the waves,
I’d relax as the water churns around me,
I’d forget to remember that the world can be messy.
I’d forget to remember that bruising is a lesson I needed to learn.
I’d forget to remember my way back isn’t through you…
and it’s not here.
Not on these pages.
Not in empty words that bring me to my knees.
Not in a half truth.
Then I know…
the way back is in this wave,
carrying me steadily along,
building and building until it’s out of control,
a tidal wave spilling onto a beach because it got in its way.
The pain surges through my mind as I crash without warning,
left to sort it all out,
separate it into neat organized piles of chaos.
in the debris left behind,
is my beautiful star.
in the debris,
is my necessary truth.