I’m carrying them around,
like stones in my pockets.
Discarding the small ones as I go.
The big ones are so heavy, they don’t easily fall,
they cling to my skin,
to my thoughts,
to my heart.
I pack you all up, in a matter of minutes, whenever I need to go.
You travel so well, weighing me down just enough,
you’ve been my excuse when forward was simply too far to travel.
I’m walking around from memory to memory and dropping these stones along the way.
Hoping no one sees what a pile I have amassed.
Hoping no one sees the holes they’ve worn in my heart.
I sit down at the edge of this cliff, weighted down by my pockets filled with stones.
I can’t stand up.
I can’t jump.
I can’t take another step forward.
I reach into my pocket and grab a handful of you and toss you out of my life.
Throwing stones this way and that with a smile on my face, as I watch them disappear over the ledge.
I turn from the edge and with all my strength I stand and I walk away.
I’m not packing you up, in a matter of minutes, I’m leaving you far behind.
These pockets filled with stones have secured me too long to the bottom of this ocean floor.
I want to believe in me as much as I believe in…
These pockets filled with stones.
I’ve scattered these stones, far away from my thoughts and my heart finally beats.
These pockets filled with stones are smaller and smaller, each day I throw a few as far as I can.
Reminders of the life, beckoning you to live, surrounding you with love all around.
Don’t forget…
that I believe in you.
Don’t forget…
how much I care.
If ever you start to doubt, just read these words and hear my heart,
beating,
filled with pride,
love.
Don’t forget…
that I believe in you.
You are a magical shell, waiting to be found, sitting where the waves break against the shore.
You are a whisper, spreading through the world, shining your light all around.
You are a scream, bouncing off a mountain, spreading through the valleys below.
These pockets filled with stones that try to hold me close,
to scare me to stay in a world of afraid.
I’ve deposited them around, here and there…
emptying these pockets filled with stones.
Freeing my hands to hold on to you and my heart and my soul and my hope.
.
.
Check out all the poetic goodness at The Gooseberry Garden and at dVerse poets!
First Pages 
Becky, you write so beautifully. So thoughtful, so meaningful. Please never stop. I look forward to reading your pieces.
Awww — shucks. Thanks sis.
Right on, Becky! Beautiful message, beautifully written! Write on, Becky!
My weekly offering to the picnic: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/04/blood-on-the-moon-2/
Yay! This is a great way to start my day — thank you so much. 🙂
Your words mesmerize me . . . . what a gift you have.
Oh Kathryn… you are an amazing person. Thank you for these words!
the title said pockets filled then, you alluded to something else that feels like stone. These two threw me off, interesting read though
Thank you… I think.
this is beautiful, becky. i loved the way it felt like it was actually getting lighter as it went along. and loved these lines:
“You are a magical shell, waiting to be found, sitting where the waves break against the shore.
You are a whisper, spreading through the world, shining your light all around.
You are a scream, bouncing off a mountain, spreading through the valleys below.”
Yes!
I felt lighter as I was writing it.
Thank you.
very emotive write…you have become the excuse…these rocks that we hold…i am glad freedom is found to hold in the letting go…really nice write…
Thank you for this comment!
I so appreciate it.
So glad you released the stones back to where their heaviness can be supported.
Quite a magical and gripping poem, from start to finish.
Thank you. Very humbled my the response.
Nice write! I can so totally relate to this. I like the ideas of the stones, the weight. I’m prone to burning such things, triggers of memories longing to be forgotten…I think this way is much safer! Loved it!
Yes… stay away from fire. 🙂
Although I wrote a piece a while back about setting myself on fire.
Thank you lovely!
Very engaging… This is good work you’ve done Becky – here’s mine: http://www.image-verse.com/clown
Thank you so much!
Beautifully written….. Am I reading too much into it to it though? This woman loves someone, someone who hurt her and she wants to throw his memories away, but then, she still loves him….. Am I right? That’s what I saw…. I’ve been there and I know what it is. I’ve decided, young miss, after 52 years of life that we never fall out of love. That’s what makes your poem so sensual to me…. I hope I’m right about that…….
Well… the great thing about poetry is that it is whatever the reader says it is, so you’re right for you. When I was writing it, I was thinking about so many different “circumstances” and how each one differs.
Your interpretation is much more romantic than mine!
Thank you!
Hmmm . . . .the “you” seems to change midway. First the “you” is discarded, then the “you” is loved. The change confused me because I can’t see that it was a change in attitude, I am percieving it as a change in what “you” is. As if you are talking to different things entirely
It saddens me that we sometimes feel that we need to hide our pain.(“Hoping no one sees what a pile I have amassed. Hoping no one sees the holes they’ve worn in my heart.”) Probably an instinctual thing? Hide pain so as not to appear weak so as not to get picked off from the herd by preditors?
I look at my card all the time. I love it. I shared some of the confetti with my hubby. Put it in his lunch bag.
Yes, I was focusing on a couple of different things while writing this. 🙂
So glad to spread my happy to you — and you spread it to John!
Yay for mail!
Ok, so I thought I “got it” then I wasn’t sure. But you once said poetry is sometimes left up to the reader to decide . . . (I think that was you).
Thank you so much for spreading you happy. You will probably never really understand how happy it makes me. You can ask John, I squeal and dance about — more than normal!
XOXOXO
Well now I’m squealing at your squealing! 🙂
always, always you hold onto hope! i believe in you ♥ i have since before we actually “met” two years ago and i always will. thank you for believing in me. ♥ *Love* & *Hugs*
Of course!
Thank you my lovely friend.
this is elegant,
love the title, your words are dramatic and timeless.
Cheers.
Thank you. I really needed this comment this morning.