As you may know, I’ve been participating in the 21.5.800 community adventure. The writing portion of the adventure has taken me to different places so far, some places I liked and some places I don’t want to visit again. The yoga is always a welcomed relief and a great way to focus and breathe and think quietly about the day ahead (I mentioned I have three kids, right?) This is where it took me today:
I was recently sent this text message — “What happened to you?”
I had no response. It wasn’t really an inquiry, more like an inquisition and the inferred remaining words were probably something like this, “… because you are doing things for yourself and taking time for yourself and not waiting around like always and…” well, you get the idea.
To steal some fundamental words from Zebra Sounds, I’ve been leaping and thinking and breathing and loving. I’ve also been writing — which has been scary for some people in my life, and I’ve been reading — again, some people find this scary, I’ve been exercising and getting healthy — scary to some, and I’ve been enjoying some alone time — this too, throws some people off.
I’ve been enjoying my kids and being the mom I always wanted to be — the one who isn’t perfect, the one who falls down sometimes, the one who gets up unassisted, the one who is messy… sometimes. A friend told me messy is good… it is.
I’ve been falling a little in love with some very small avatars. I’ve been laughing with some friends. I’ve been feeding my brain with some brilliant words by some brilliant writers. I’ve been leaping, some more, without a cape and the net keeps appearing. I’ve been trusting the people I’ve let into my life. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do next — and… I’ve been doing it.
So, what happened to me? I stopped pretending, I stopped walking through life in a fog, I stopped approaching everything like it was a business venture and started embracing the life I want, the friends I want… the things I want.
What happened to me is emergence. What happened to me is letting go of fear. What happened to me is embracing solitude. What happened to me is finding my own strength.
What happened to me? I’m leaping… some more.
Picture from Kind Over Matter
Now, it’s your turn. What’s happening with you? Seriously, I want to know.
What is happening with me?
Honestly, I really don’t know right now. I am rather directionless at the moment. Unusual for me as I always have a plan and a backup plan. I am, clueless.
But, I am very happy for you.
Sometimes I like not having a plan Mary, as a matter of fact, most of the time I don’t have a plan. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re directionless, it means you’re open to the opportunities that will be coming your way — I think anyway.
Thanks for reading!
You do lovely leaping!
Those questions – argh – “What happened to you?” – the kind that aren’t questions at all — but demands (and snide ones as well) – ohhhhhh, I dont like them!
And that’s kinda/sorta what’s been happening with me – or that I’ve been more mindful of, since starting 21.5.800. I’ve been noticing (and deciding what I want to do with) communication (and communicators) who aren’t really listening to me or seeing me.
And THAT leads to me being more mindful and connect-ful with and in myself — pretty cool! Thanks for asking!
Hey Square-Peg Karen!
Thanks for stopping by and reading.
I think it’s great once we realize how we need to communicate and how we need others to communicate with us — communication can be so tricky so being aware of it is key.
I’m so glad to see you here!
I enjoyed reading this post, and I resonate. wahoo! for you.
what is happening with me?
I am going out of my comfort zone and actually posting what I write about when I am using writing to release stuck energies, and worries.
it feels good, although I do have that moment of trepidation just before I hit post.
Hey Shannon! Thanks for coming over here to read and comment!
I know that feeling of trepidation oh too well on this blog. Sometimes, the posts I have worried the most about hitting the publish button, are the ones that seem to connect with readers. So, go for it! I’ll be reading you soon!
this is a great space to be in! I think I’m right there with you. Such a great feeling to now within yourself. 🙂
Hello Floreta!
So glad you stopped by here — thank you!
It has felt great at times and very intimidating at times to be trying to be honest with yourself — a great place to be but an often confusing place to be.
So we can be there together! Yay!
This is so beautiful.
Whenever we become more authentically ourselves (a brave act), people who would rather stay comfortably “stuck” tend to feel threatened.
If YOU can do it, that must mean THEY can, too, but they would rather not have that responsibility.
So glad you’re on this journey with us. 🙂
@writeplayrepeat.
Hi Jules! So glad to see you now and am now following! (non-twitter people are looking puzzled).
I love the thought of people being “authentically ourselves”.
What a great feeling!
Thanks for stopping by and reading!
Yay for leaping and having it work out.
One reason people do “challenges” or projects is to go to new or different places, yes?
If you are doing things that are good for you and that are helping you grow and embrace the life you want I question the hearts of the people in your life that are scared by that. Hmmmm . . . . .
Not much happening with me . . . . on the slow and steady.
Yay! I was hoping you would stop by and read this one. I was going to message you but you’re here!
I totally agree about the questioning part — I’ve been questioning and moving forward.
Slow and steady is good — it’s settled and content.
Thanks Terre!
Becky, your beautiful post reminds me of one of my favorite pieces by Rilke. At the outset of #215800, I printed it out and placed it on my desk as a reminder to relax and let the writing/savasana journey lead me, and not the other way around. It sounds like we’re both working hard to release the answers and embrace the questions.
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Hugs and love.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Now we both have this passage printed out and placed where we can see it.
I will go on any journey with you…anywhere…anytime.
Finding you was like finding the most perfect sand dollar buried under all the sand, and it was already polished and pristine just waiting for me to discover it.
Hugs and Love back!
Becky and Amy,
I love that Rilke quote too! I just need to remember it and try to live it.
Just when I think I’ve read your best – you bested it. Yes I know I’m magic with the words. :o) Becky, so love this post, love the pic and agree with it. I honestly don’t have anything else to say. Oh wait, we are talking about me… hmm, nope you said it perfectly and I love it. Love you! xo :o)
Awww! Big Smile C!
I liked this one too — that’s wrong isn’t it? 🙂
Thank you! #clove
Wow…I wish I would/could get to that point in my life instead of being so afraid of what others think and worry about whether the step I’m about to take is the right one, which causes me often to take no step at all. I think I like your way better. Leap on, Becky.
I’m scared everyday of taking a different path, of leaping. But the thought of not… the thought of not connecting to the people who have been put in my path of leaping… is terrifying. So, leap.
Wonderful post, B. I’m in awe of how you have been facing life this year. You leap far more gracefully than even a gazelle. You are a joy to behold.
As for what’s happening with me, I’m transitioning through a period of needing solitude and finding a new balance in my life. Believe it or not, I was never as social before as what I became on Twitter. I think I may have overdone it.
I am grateful for being able to keep in email, DM and/or blog contact with so many of the lovely friends I’ve met on Twitter, especially you. *Much Love**Big Hugs*
No, you didn’t overdue it — not from my perspective. I think being nice and caring can never be over done. Thank you for the words about this post — this is one I really wanted to put out there, it was on my mind for a while.
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