I have no patience.
I thought about just writing that line and pushing publish to prove I have no patience, but I was afraid no one would read it so I decided to add a little something.
Maybe I should just say I’m limited on my patience — I hate to imply that I’m completely irrational with my lack of patience, so…I’m limited. Sometimes, when I send an email and I don’t get a response for a while, or I phone someone and have to leave a message and the return call isn’t quick, or when I send a text message that isn’t returned right away I think,
“Oh no, why didn’t they respond? They must hate me now. Whatever, I’m better off.”
Do you see how this could become a problem area for me? I have no limited patience. So, I’m trying to slow things down a bit. Trying to let things occur naturally and not wonder if I’ve done something wrong to illicit a slow response.
I read a fabulous blog post by Martha Beck the other day while I was contemplating my lack of patience and the post really screamed at me, really. In it she lists some things that could possibly occur if you fail to slow down:
➢ You stop getting anything done.
➢ You feel cranky and childish.
➢ You lose things, drop things, or forget things to a ridiculous degree.
➢ People tell you that you should back off, or seem very nervous around you.
➢ You’re exhausted (but often can’t sleep).
➢ Your thoughts race.
➢ You feel panicky.
➢ Though you live to serve humanity, you hate everyone
Then shortly after I read that post, I was driving down the road and got stuck behind an unusual thing — an older man (with a cane mind you) driving his lawn mower down the road (a busy road mind you) apparently headed for the repair shop (that was quite a distance away mind you). But, behind him with her hazard lights on in the most enormous Lincoln Town Car was his older woman counterpart — following him, right behind. This made me smile and then I laughed… out loud. Patience.
I was at the store the other day and found myself in the card aisle. I usually always skip the card aisle unless it’s absolutely necessary to venture down it. So there I was, perusing the cards, trying to find something quirky and funny and not too serious. Of course, I didn’t really know who I would send it to — I thought that would come later.
I’ve always wanted to be a “sends cards” person. I love getting cards and letters in the mail (makes all the bills seem not so burdensome). When I was young, I remember my grandmother sitting down almost daily and writing letters to friends — she received letters in the mail as well. I remember how excited she would get when the mail came, she also got excited about putting her letters in the mail. She knew she was giving someone on the other end the same feeling she had, and that was a good feeling.
I’m an email person. I don’t really appreciate talking on the phone too much (I’m sure my sister can attest to that). I turn very primal on the phone — lots of “huh, oh, yea”. Mainly one word utterances. But, put me in front of my computer during a lunch break and I’ll send several emails (usually way too long). Then, I wait. Then my lack of patience creeps up.
So, a challenge. A game really. I thought I would start (don’t choke) writing letters to friends and sending cards and maybe it would be reciprocated. Maybe forcing myself to take a step back and really appreciate the importance and intimacy of conversation and friendship would help my patience. Of course, I’ll still email and text and (reluctantly) call — but my hope is that the anticipation of sending a note or a card through the mail, of knowing that the receiver on the other end will be more pleased with that piece of me than a mere email, will curb my lack of patience — and it will make someone feel good… I like the thought of that.
So, here’s where you get to play along. If you want to get on “Becky’s list of people she wants to send a piece of herself to” (please refrain from all jokes regarding this statement), email your address to firstname.lastname@example.org and wait… patiently.
And now, enjoy this song while you wait!