I am going to try something a little different today. We’re going to play a great big game of “let’s pretend”. The stories I tell on here are stories from my life. So perhaps this game of pretend won’t be such a big stretch, as I’m hoping …
The weather was still and quiet, a perfect sky where all the stars were shining so cleverly on the streets. The temperature on this November night must have been unseasonably warm — no coats required. Of course, with never having been to New York, she really didn’t know what the usual weather was. The walk from the hotel was short and magnificent. The towering buildings, the lights, the people — everything was a new sensation for her.
She stopped in front of the building where the party was taking place and gazed up at the enormity of it all for just a second too long. She became dizzy and stumbled backwards, bumping a couple of passers-by, then gathered her balance and resumed to stare — at that door — unable to go in.
This was a long-awaited night. One that had been dreamt about for the last year. One that had been the inspiration to make a change, to become better. It had started as a joke really, amongst strangers. A vow to meet — in real life. But, something in her made this want to be real. She wanted to have a reason to leave the comfort of her life — just for a little while — and mingle amongst the strangers who had become her strength.
It was the anticipation of meeting those strangers that had finally propelled her in the direction of positive change, of doing something for herself — selfishly. She had spent the last couple of years in a state of constant worry, panic, disbelief. And by all outwardly appearances, she had just stopped caring. She had been content to stay the same. The thought of moving forward was too scary because the imminent failure was all too familiar.
But, there she was, at the door to the party. About to meet those strangers. And all the doubt and worry and lack of confidence was urging her to walk away — back to the comfort of her real life. The anticipation of this event had been so long thought out, that perhaps the end of the journey would pale in comparison to the story she had already written in her mind.
So there she stood — still. A feeling of sickness creeping up her throat, the warm night air turning ice-cold on her skin, the towering buildings falling in on her — the city sounds confusing her. A deep breath, if she could only take a deep breath.
She kept a steady gaze on that door. Her feet, with a mind of their own, tried to begin the fleeing process by turning in the direction of the hotel. There was a real intention to walk — stumble actually — back to the hotel. But, before she could make the move, that door opened to greet her. The laughter was infectious and floated out to her — calling her. She could make out the faces of those that had unknowingly prodded her along. Her breath came, her feet moved towards the door, the strangers were waiting to welcome her.
So, there’s the partial journey to the world of “let’s pretend”. The journey has begun already actually. The outcome of which is not known — like life. You have to decide if the person you want to be is anything like the person you really are. You start the journey and wait for the outcome… waiting for the conclusion.