Where am I now?
… looking around at the soul unfinished, seeking out the answers yet to come, learning to swim along the jagged edges, wishing this part in the middle would be as glorious as that part I know is waiting at the end, writing a story whose ending is mine, living a life whose heartbeat is mine, looking through cloudy eyes.
Where am I now?
… sitting in the middle of a bed, my feelings scattered all around me, letting go of the I think I’m crazies, hanging on to the edge of the grey colored messes, gold sparkly glue binding my thoughts, wading into the deep end, standing under the waterfall, looking at a shooting star, wishing to see what I already have, writing the words that will make it all clear.
Where I am now?
… driving in my car from place to place, waiting each week for the safety net, reaching out to you, wondering how I fit in, taking control of a runaway train, laughing at the distant thunder, perched on a sled waiting for the snow, throwing the leaves just to see where they land, walking a trail that may not end, staring out the window, pushing the pedal to see how fast it will go, settling the hell down.
Where am I now?
… abundantly distracted by the wiggling of my own toes.
Where am I now?
… feeling my way through the murky water.
Where am I now?
… trusting in the silence.
Where am I now?
… following my smile out the door.
Where am I now?
… here.
time is endless
Yes, thank you.
powerful expressions.
Thank you so much for the support!
So glad you found your voice. Your poem is filled with so many feelings and experiences…life!
I was very much filled with multiple emotions writing this… Thank you.
I’m pretty sure I’ve been there and odne that. A very entertaining write!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/11/13/another-nights-dream-3/
Thank you Charles!
Like your awareness and can relate to where you are. Have been there often and love how you expressed your feelings so deeply.
Thanks for this.
Thank you Marsha — so many emotions, so little time to process them all… especially when they come all at once.
Beautiful expression of your life journey and all the facets that are important! Good stuff!
Thank you so much! So glad to see you here.
“abundantly distracted by the wiggling of my own toes” — I love it. Detached, in the moment, fascinated by the possibilities as a child. What a great place to be.
That’s so funny you say that… When writing, lately, I seem to be coming at it with the voice of a child but I think in a good way. Thank you for your never-ending support!
Ha. I feel kinda fooled. The beginning had me sad. I was thinking that the end is not the point of concentration, but the now is the glorious part. But then at the end with the “abundantly distracted by the wiggling of my own toes.” I was happy. Then I fell in love with the “… trusting in the silence.” Because that is a wonderous place to be. Then my heart danced at, “… following my smile out the door.” And my eyes filled with tears of joy at, “Where am I now?… here.”
Awesome. I love this. You are an amazing writer/story teller. You often get my heart racing at the wondering where we are going!
KISSES!!!!
I’m all blushing and smiling from ear to ear now.
Thank you Terre!
Whenever I write, I seem to start and stop at totally different emotions… But that’s good, I think.
Thank you bunches my friend.
I bet it is what it needs to be. If writing is therapy or the way you get things out or tell a story, then whatever emotions come up are what come up.
You’re fabulous!
You’re absolutely right. Writing… Especially the poetry part, is very much positive therapy for me.
Thank you!
“Trusting in the silence” is one of my favorite lines from this, Becky, I think that’s what best describes many of our lives.
Thank you for the reminder!
Thank you for reading and supporting… and trusting.
And where are we, right by your side ~ snuggling in with all the Angels,who are having a grand time with you -because you are engaging, you are curious- you see the gold- you are ready to slide down the hill- Yippee! and you Trust – you are ready- you are open…and you DARE – this is what is needed, this is what is welcome.
I smile as I write. I scroll up to remind myself of the feeling you and your words imprinted in my heart.
Ah, yes my heart and the many other hearts you touch and lovingly open. You guide us to see the Abundance in all.
I am so grateful for all that led me here ~ to this point where I am willing to jump off, to join, to be here. Precious Becky, thank you for allowing us to connect with this collective feeling of Joy and Hope
I do truly love you xo
Wow. Just wow.
Your comment has really affected me Jo.
Thank you, I don’t know what to say.
I used to want to round off the jagged edges of my existence. Now, I kind of like them.
Being “here” is better than no where.
brilliant as usual
Right… those jagged edges help us steady ourselves, I think.
Thank you!
A perfect ending.
“sitting in the middle of a bed, my feelings scattered all around me, letting go of the I think I’m crazies, hanging on to the edge of the grey colored messes, gold sparkly glue binding my thoughts, wading into the deep end, standing under the waterfall, looking at a shooting star, wishing to see what I already have, writing the words that will make it all clear.”
… is something I can relate to entirely. Thank you for putting such emotions into writing.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
It’s such a rush when you write something and you put it out there and you hope someone will connect with it and then when they do and they tell you… it’s a little bit of magic.
So, thank you!
perfect.
*blushing*
Thank you.
hope that love comes back to you.
smiles.
remember to join poets rally week 56 tomorrow.
cheers.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I’ll see you at the rally!
“Where am I now?
… following my smile out the door.”
There is a wistfulness and a sadness. Hope she gets her mojo back.
You do the connecting and disconnecting well. Intriguing write.
Thank you!
I’m very grateful by your comment, it’s made me think.
I like the idea of connecting and disconnecting… kind of a dance.
I knew there was a reason I began following you and reading this made me remember…you are so talented and your verses bring life to each moment you share. It’s real. I love that about you!
Wow, thank you Kellie. I’m very humbled by your comment.
ps… heres mine
http://magicinthebackyard.wordpress.com/2011/11/15/grace/
*runs off to read*
any time you can follow your smile is a good time eh? unless it is leaving with out you…ultimately we have to write our own stories and choose our own ending…even if we have to traipse the jagged edges along the way…
Yes.
Thank you, the jagged edges sometimes hold the most interesting stories.
Wonderful verse and question indeed, I guess we all just have to decide which way our path will lead. But go with a smile and it won’t be so bad, at least I hope.
Yes, I think a lot of our personal paths depend on choices we make… but even the bad choices can sometimes lead to good outcomes.
ah, living in the present. easier said than done!
Yes it is, a lesson I relearn everyday.
Thank you.
Great zen closing. Love your construction of poem and elegant handling of word choices. Very well done!
Yay! I got a “zen”! I love that… Thank you.
follow ur smile and let loose you will to feel and empower…
blessings
here is me in the rally
http://bupinder21.wordpress.com/2011/02/05/i/
Thank you!
powerful.
just smile now, relax and have a fun moment.
Thank you.
I’m working on the relax in the moment part.
“trusting in the silence.” It’s so hard to do that but so true.
Very difficult, especially for me… I’m a very instant gratification kinda gal.
I have to hold back with friends often, it’s difficult.
Love this poem. It demonstrates how you freed yourself from traditional poetic form. You stretched our imagination, mine at least. Thanks for getting out of the poetry fishbowl with this piece.
Thank you! I’m so grateful for this comment. I so struggle with poetry and how I fit in… Thank you for such kind words of encouragement and support.
the soul unfinished….great! that summarizes the whole piece.
the speaker’s in flux, in motion, but to what direction? to what end?
lost in life.
wonderful portraiture of the soul in angst, disquiet, unease, and fear….all it knows is the Here and Now.
Love this poem. Very good job.
I also like the structure of the poem.
very good soul-searching piece, with excellent writing.
Thank you so much!
I felt like I was doing a lot of soul searching while writing this one.
as a mother of three, you are truly right at what you feel and see and I think all mothers of three ask these questions’ where am I , to be or not to be’
I am too a mother of three- deeply enjoyed reading this wonderful poem
Awww — thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Wonderfully written reflection on experience and inner sight, seeing the good and the bad, the hope for and the achieved. I read each line twice, once as what you were sharing, once as a memory of my past or current state. You wrote beautifully, on the state of being alive. Thank you.
Thank you for leaving such an amazing comment… It means more than I could tell you.
This is me: living a life whose heartbeat is mine.
Immaculate poetry you have here, Becky.
That’s a beautiful line.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
this is something we always ask ourselves, Wher am i now? just shows how important time is and where we find ourselves.
Yes… understanding how to use the time we have to live and love!
Thank you.
wonderful poem…
metamorphosis
Thank you.
Nice one. Very spiritual.
Thank you… it was definitely a soul-filling poem for me.
wonderful…
Thank you so much!
You captured the sense of rocketing emotions that being a mother can bring–at least that is what the poem said to me–my children are grown and so I no longer have homework and swimming and choir to contend with–now the issues are bigger–the stakes are higher and I still worry and cry with them when they are sad– (I have 2 daughters 21 and 25)
Thank you for this… It really means a lot to share a connection with someone, even through the inter webs.
How well you have brought out your feelings and finally funnelling it down to ‘here’ -great read!
Thank you so much.
I felt very free after I wrote this one… thank you for reading!
i love that “… following my smile out the door.” that makes me smile. thank you! ♥
Yay! I like making you smile.