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Wandering… alone

August 23, 2011 by Becky

Wandering… alone.

Walking through the thoughts that hold me together,

keep me connected to your soul,

tether me to a place that allows me to breathe.

I want to stay here.

I want to never leave.

I want to drown in this rising current.

I want to slip under the wave of emotions that have eluded me for so long.

Wandering… alone.

Drifting with the undercurrent that once threatened to pull me under,

smiling at the jagged edges of my own heart,

laughing at the possibility of another missing piece.

I am moving forward.

I am swimming in the feelings of belonging that pushed me away for so long.

I am whole.

I am real.

I am broken and mended, I am childish and wise, I am piece-milled together and I am perfectly imperfect.

I am remembering how to swim and not just float.

I am learning how to live and not just react.

I am reaching out and not retreating to the dark cave of my stoney heart…

I am polishing my stoney heart.

I am thinking.

I am feeling.

I am wondering.

I am loving.

I am pausing.

I am hesitating.

I am rushing forward.

I am wandering through this sandy beach and feeling the warmth of the sun…

I am reflecting, not dwelling.

I am learning, not reliving.

I am just a girl,

who once was scared,

who once needed company at the bottom of the water filled cave,

who once lost herself.

I am just a girl, who wandered… alone –

and found a world.

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Posted in Friendship, Poems I thought I would share on the main page | Tagged Becky Sain, emotions, Friendship, learning, love, poems, poetry, self-worth | 71 Comments

71 Responses

on August 23, 2011 at 4:27 pm | Reply dani

powerful throughout, b! but that last line ROCKS! i LOVE this! i applaud you my POET friend! ♥ sending *Love* & *Hugs* ♥
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:50 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! I was writing something totally different and then a thought was sparked.
  Hugs.
  - on August 26, 2011 at 8:41 am jacqui binford-bell
    
    Don’t you love it when the poem is alive enough it chooses its own direction?
  - on August 26, 2011 at 9:06 am Becky
    
    Yes! Happens to me all the time — grateful you understand so I know I’m not just scattered!
on August 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm | Reply Debbie Dawnslight

I agree with dani – this is a very powerful write!
“I want to slip under the wave of emotions that have eluded me for so long.” –
just beautiful and moving… deb
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:52 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you so much for reading and encouraging.
on August 23, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Reply Pat Hatt

Wow you are doing a whole lot of things. I am impressed..haha

Wonderful write and great release of thoughts in this piece!
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:53 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you — I am, I think we are, constantly doing so many things it makes our head spin.
  Thanks!
on August 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm | Reply liv2write2day

A moment of insight and self-reflection that I suspect many of us can identify with.
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:55 pm | Reply Becky
  
  I hope so, I think writing and posting here means so much to me when others can relate.
  Thank you!
on August 23, 2011 at 7:02 pm | Reply Marisa Birns

And you know, as you’re thinking, feeling, wondering, loving, pausing, hesitating, and rushing forward, you ARE living. As you should be.

Really love this.
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:56 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Yes… I am. Thank you.
on August 23, 2011 at 7:24 pm | Reply terrepruitt

I am so happy (proud and in awe) that you sound as if you are moving past the pain and heartache and living. I think you are kicking butt, but I have always thought that.

I am here with my pom-pons cheering you on, always!
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Mwah!
  Two steps forward, one step back…
  give or take a few steps.
  I’m moving forward… that’s a good direction.
on August 23, 2011 at 7:56 pm | Reply Jordan Drew

Absolutely beautiful, Becky. <3
- on August 23, 2011 at 8:58 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you!
on August 23, 2011 at 9:15 pm | Reply Mark Kerstetter

I feel the satisfaction of a soul who has weathered a storm and learned to roll with it – makes me want to say (even though it’s my first visit here) congratulations!
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you for stopping by and I hope you’ll return!
  Yes… some storms have been weathered and are currently being weathered.
on August 23, 2011 at 9:36 pm | Reply brian

very strong voice you use with all the I am statements…to me a very uplifting piece..as knowing yourself can be a powerful thing…and finding the world…great close…
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Yes! Thank you… I felt very encouraged and uplifted as I was writing it.
on August 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm | Reply Joanne Marie Firth

Amazing. xoxo
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm | Reply Becky
  
  I know you are but what am I? xoxoxo
  - on April 3, 2012 at 11:12 pm June O'Reilly (@LunaJune)
    
    love the way the Universe takes me where I need to go.. even if it is to just laugh at something :~) love you both <3
  - on April 6, 2012 at 9:56 am Becky
    
    Thank you my sweet friend!
    xoxoxox
on August 24, 2011 at 5:44 am | Reply Estrella Azul

Perfectly imperfect – I love that, and the whole feeling of this. You’re so talented, Becky *hugs*
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:45 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Awww — my really big smile is because of you. Thank you!
on August 24, 2011 at 9:19 am | Reply Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe

you are smiling and encouraging…
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:46 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you for stopping by!
on August 24, 2011 at 10:46 am | Reply kez

brilliant loved it ….the world can only be discovered once we have self discovery thank you for sharing x
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:46 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you… I think that is quite possibly very true.
on August 24, 2011 at 10:57 am | Reply expatinCAT

and ‘you are’ writing very well. Thanks for sharing this. // Peter.
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you for visiting… I’m thrilled to have this comment!
on August 24, 2011 at 3:07 pm | Reply The Noiseless Cuckooclock

this is positive and creative.
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you — I felt so positive while writing this piece.
on August 24, 2011 at 4:22 pm | Reply wolfsrosebud

What an emotional trip you’ve taken us on…
- on August 24, 2011 at 7:48 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Yes… and I’ve taken myself on.
on August 24, 2011 at 10:42 pm | Reply henryclemmons

Wow. What a stunning write. Great word choices and line work. Luved the images and the over all feel of this. I really enjoyed it. You had me from walking through the thoughts that hold me together. Awesome.

http://henryclemmons.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/franken-poem/#comments
- on August 25, 2011 at 7:54 am | Reply Becky
  
  Wow! Thank you! This is an awesome start to my day — I can’t wait to read you!
on August 25, 2011 at 12:23 am | Reply Alcina

Awesome work..loved it from the the beginning till the end.
States life’s irony so well.

Alcina
- on August 25, 2011 at 7:51 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It’s such a great feeling to know we (people) can be connected through a poem.
  Thank you!
on August 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm | Reply Mihir Vatsa

Hi Becky.

The poem was nice. I especially like the way you used the one-one sentences continuously in the later part.

Happy rally!
- on August 26, 2011 at 9:08 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! So grateful you’re here.
on August 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm | Reply charlesmashburn

A wonderful work of poetry here. Full of awesome lines and it flows along like a walk in the garden. Very nicely done.

My poem this week: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/she-sat-alone-2/
- on August 26, 2011 at 9:10 am | Reply Becky
  
  Wow! Thank for my huge smile this morning. I feel completely overwhelmed by your kind words of encouragement.
on August 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm | Reply ashbeezone

Very Nice Poetry with an amazing Imagination
Great Work of Creativity .. Fabulous Write !!

It was truly enjoyable after reading this one !!

Anyways, Take a look on my very recent Work as well
http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/india-of-my-dream/

Keep Wandering with your Ideas
!!! Happy Rally !!!
Cheers !!
- on August 26, 2011 at 9:11 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
  Loved your poem as well.
on August 26, 2011 at 2:51 am | Reply fiveloaf

nice, powerful, glad to be of acquaintance through thursday rally.. my posting this week.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2011/08/04/strength-of-faith/
- on August 26, 2011 at 9:13 am | Reply Becky
  
  Me too! Thank you so much.
  Loved your poem!
on August 26, 2011 at 2:53 pm | Reply antomaniax

I have truly enjoyed reading your poem..Beautifully crafted..Good luck!
- on August 27, 2011 at 6:30 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you so much! I’m smiling so BIG from the encouraging comments.
on August 26, 2011 at 6:14 pm | Reply The Cello String

amazing..
Thanks for sharing…
- on August 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you for reading.
on August 27, 2011 at 3:44 am | Reply blitzken

Lovely journey! A well written and enjoyable read.
- on August 27, 2011 at 6:25 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! I very much appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
on August 27, 2011 at 7:53 am | Reply poetryroad

This has a lot of great energy to it! The back and forth of emotions is well expressed!
- on August 27, 2011 at 8:04 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you so much. I think I often write when I’m flooded with emotions and through writing, my soul starts to calm. Hmmm —
on August 27, 2011 at 2:03 pm | Reply Chimnese

Powerful anyone who’s bn on this path can learn from u amazing nd uplifting
- on August 28, 2011 at 7:36 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! I’m so humbled by your response.
on August 29, 2011 at 12:16 am | Reply e.a.s. demers

mesmerizing….
- on August 29, 2011 at 6:02 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! Big smile!
on August 29, 2011 at 4:20 pm | Reply dandylion28

Beautiful! My favourite line “I am learning how to live and not just react.”

Its a really wonderful poem you’ve written.
- on August 29, 2011 at 9:12 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you!
  I so appreciate seeing you here.
on August 30, 2011 at 12:46 pm | Reply Kay Salady

A beautifully profound expression straight from the heart. What a beautiful journey of renewal!

http://kaysalady.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/my-mind-is-frozen/
- on August 30, 2011 at 3:12 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you thank you thank you! I’m smiling so big right now!
on August 31, 2011 at 2:52 pm | Reply Leonargo

Thank you for reminding me how we learn so much when we are alone, beautiful write.
- on August 31, 2011 at 6:12 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you… I think many things are solved when we mull them over. Thanks again for reading!
on August 31, 2011 at 10:44 pm | Reply Emmanuel Ibok

I love the positive energy this discharges. Cool write.

Cheers!
- on September 1, 2011 at 3:30 am | Reply Becky
  
  Thank you! I love positive energy.
on September 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm | Reply Ankoku Hikaru

And thus into ones journey of self discovery(or Self Acceptance, or… never mind) we get a glimpse of… Well Done. Keep it up. ^^

http://ankokuhikaru.wordpress.com/2011/07/01/poetry-rose-masquerade/
- on September 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm | Reply Becky
  
  Right. Self-something.
  Thank you!
on April 2, 2013 at 10:04 am | Reply encore presentation: 2012 featured poets ~ some “B”s & some “C”s | my heart's love songs

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Becky Brewster Sain

I'm a mother of three,
I write, I learn, I teach, I begin again, I am awake and unafraid... I am becoming.
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