Walking through the thoughts that hold me together,
keep me connected to your soul,
tether me to a place that allows me to breathe.
I want to stay here.
I want to never leave.
I want to drown in this rising current.
I want to slip under the wave of emotions that have eluded me for so long.
Drifting with the undercurrent that once threatened to pull me under,
smiling at the jagged edges of my own heart,
laughing at the possibility of another missing piece.
I am moving forward.
I am swimming in the feelings of belonging that pushed me away for so long.
I am whole.
I am real.
I am broken and mended, I am childish and wise, I am piece-milled together and I am perfectly imperfect.
I am remembering how to swim and not just float.
I am learning how to live and not just react.
I am reaching out and not retreating to the dark cave of my stoney heart…
I am polishing my stoney heart.
I am thinking.
I am feeling.
I am wondering.
I am loving.
I am pausing.
I am hesitating.
I am rushing forward.
I am wandering through this sandy beach and feeling the warmth of the sun…
I am reflecting, not dwelling.
I am learning, not reliving.
I am just a girl,
who once was scared,
who once needed company at the bottom of the water filled cave,
who once lost herself.
I am just a girl, who wandered… alone –
and found a world.