I live in the south.
It would be more common to have several tornados blow through my town than to be able to calculate snow fall in inches. Yet here I sit, another snow day.
This snow that came upon us last night was unexpected. It was wet. It was cold. It was dreary. It was sudden. We didn’t long for it the way we have for the other recent snows. We would have rather it stayed away. But, as with all things, we can’t keep the dreary, cold times away. We have to approach them just as we do the happy, content times. We have to accept that, these too, help us achieve a balance.
So, instead of rushing out to sled and make snowmen and play, we are all content with staying safe in the house. Not venturing out into the cold — but, being here, with each other. Safe. Warm. Happy.
I have often thought about unconditional acceptance.
There are many people in my life that I think have my full unconditional acceptance. For some reason, I was listing them in the shower the other morning. It made me think, maybe I dish out this supreme form of acceptance a little too quickly.
I definitely have unconditional acceptance for my kids. We have to don’t we? How many people in our lives can we say the same thing over and over to and when they still don’t do it we just let it pass or delve out a punishment — but we never quit loving them (yes, I am absolutely thinking about how messy my kids rooms are right now). After a few minutes, we carry on — we hug, we talk, we love.
What I was really thinking about (yes, in the shower — some people sing, I think) the other morning, was if it’s possible to have unconditional acceptance for friends. So, I made my list. Right off the top I came up with two names — two friends that are definitely in the say anything, do anything category. But then my list grew. I started to think about people who I hadn’t seen or talked to in years — people I went to high school with and college with — people I think could tell me just about anything and I would still call them friend. I would still sit down to chat. I would still want to be in their presence.
But, maybe I’m wrong on this one. Maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to give out unconditional acceptance. Possibly when you give out unconditional acceptance you are expecting it in return — you are expecting to be able to say anything to that friend and them have the same response that you would have…and that’s not necessarily the case. But, whether perfect or not… it’s difficult to give. But I do. And I will.
So, back to an unexpected snow day.
Back to a cold, wet, dreary day that can only get better with friends and kids and hugs and perhaps a little Dr. Seuss.
Back to the unconditional acceptance (I know some of you will like this video!) of those you love — and who love you.
Back to another snow day, seriously.
I really have felt like you have been in my head lately with your posts. It is very thought-provoking. Thank you!
Thank you — that’s a great compliment!
This was a really good post B! I mean I’m not going to even get started on the snow day thing but I loved the unconditional love part. It made me think. That’s good for me to do sometimes.
I love this comment from you R! I get caught up in the flip side of unconditional and think everyone will be ok with the “stuff” because I’m pretty easy going with my friends.
Again B you make us think! damn you! ;o) What an interesting thought, I personally have the opposite issue, I find it very hard to give unconditional anything to people, but then I think that is a huge flaw in my character. I think you are truly amazing that you can feel so sure about your friends and loved ones to offer this type of acceptance, I am again a bit in awe. Thank you for your thought provoking post!
Thanks C! I do think I might give it out a little too quickly sometimes to people — but, I’ve usually been proven right with the friends that I have!
I have total unconditional love for my daughter and grandchildren. I “think” I have it for other family and friends, too, but who knows when a line might be crossed if you don’t even know what that line might be? I do know that you’re not the bad-ass that you like to make people think you are.
Not to say that you can’t be a bad-ass when you want to be. That rat really LOVES that cat ~ funniest video I’ve ever seen. *hugs*
P.S. Sorry for the delay in my reply. Tried earlier & wordpress wouldn’t post it.
I thought that video was great too! Thanks for reading Dani. I think the unconditional love part for our family — at least our children — goes without saying. It’s the uncondional acceptance of our friends, the ones we get to actually choose, that I think is so special.
I’ve had the unconditional love conversation a lot of times. I’m almost always the only one on my side.
I think I do unconditionally love my children. I think unconditional love with anyone else is dangerous. There should be conditions – respect, reciprocity, honesty. I’ve actually started to post on this subject before, but always hesitate, thinking maybe I’ll sound too jaded. I’m not at all. I’ve been so amazingly lucky with who I’ve attracted into my life. (Becky included!!!) But my love is not unconditional, and I don’t think that’s bad.
Okay, that’s it, b. I’m posting. I already made people mad once this week! I’m on a role!
(I do give nearly unconditional hugs though. Just so you know.)
I agree. But, sometimes, it’s ok to leap.
[...] recently the lovely, talented Becky Sain wrote a blog post on the subject of unconditional love, and it made me want to address the topic because… I [...]
I agree with Judy – there are only 2 people in my life who have my unconditional love: my girls.
The rest I love with my whole heart, but there are conditions – respect, boundaries are the 2 most important.
Oh and the snow day thing – we won’t even go there. Working on day # 6 from just this storm and 5 from Dec. Those are now dirty words in my house! lol!
You are very wise to agree with Judy, T!
Go to her blog and read her post about unconditional love!
Hi Becky! Another wonderful, thought-provoking entry. Sometimes, I think it also has to do with whether or not someone holds a grudge. I’ve seen some people talk about the same thing 10 years later! How has it helped to hold onto it? Is that other person dwelling on it or even thinking about it? Probably not. I think it’s unhealthy to hold a grudge. Yes, we all want to be loved and respected, etc. But we’re human. We make mistakes. We all do. Anyways, this is just one thing that popped in my head when I was reading your entry. Thanks!
p.s. I swear I didn’t cry this time
!
Yes, you’re right about the holding on to things for too long. I think that’s just it, the “we all make mistakes” part.
Sometimes we just need to be able to look past the small things.
I’m glad you didn’t cry! Hmmm, I better try something sad next time!